Essayette

My dad was born on borrowed time.  In 1973, little research had been done about sickle cell anemia, but what was clear from the time he was diagnosed was that his life expectancy would be cut short. Growing up, my parents never hid this fact from my brother and me. It would have been hard to. By the time I was seven, my father had survived countless surgeries including a near death kidney transplant. So, I certainly appreciated the gravity of being asked to DJ his 50th birthday party this past summer.  For months I prepared a musical set that would top the legendary parties that my dad had described from his college days. I grew up hearing those stories countless times.  I knew his closest friends would be there, including DJ Denmark, who helped teach me to DJ.  I was fully aware of where the bar for this party had been set. 

DJing is special to me because my musical repertoire is so connected to my dad. He greatly influenced the soundtrack of my life.  My parents divorced when I was 8 years old, so I spent a lot of time shuttling between Brooklyn and Philadelphia.  During the many hours of highway driving, my dad would tell the stories of his life through his musical playlists.  I  experienced much of my life through the sounds of the 80s and 90s hip hop, R&B, jazz, house music, and even a little disco. I am confident that my music library would convince DJ Kool Herc himself, a founding father of hip hop,  that I too had been a part of the game since its inception.  

My love of music has provided me the confidence to share it with others. I have always considered myself to be reserved,  despite how gregarious I might appear to others. I have been lucky enough to be able to assume leadership roles in my schools, I have performed songs that I wrote on stage, and I have had to present my visual art and explain its meaning to crowds.  I have performed my art with great humility, in spite of my inner desire to sometimes remain silent, and not be boastful.  DJing, however, allows me to communicate with the crowd through music, without making me the direct center of attention, which is what makes it my favorite way to perform.   I take pride in this art form by preparing extensively for each set, and finding the right mixes to keep a party going.  

I realize now that preparation for my dad’s 50th birthday party started long before I knew how important it would be for him.  Music has been a mode of connection for my dad and me.  Each song he played in the car was a chance for him to impart bits of wisdom and advice.  Each verse, an opportunity to explore topics like race, manhood, and love.  I called his friends, pored through records, and tried to remember every song he ever said he loved.   All the hours I spent looking for songs that would teleport him and his friends  back to their younger days were worth it as they heard a familiar beat and yelled back at me, “Whatchu know about this song?!” 

This party was an opportunity to show my dad that I had been listening for all those years, that  I was taking notes, that I was taking it all in. This party was the perfect way for me to say thank you. Thank you for sharing with me all that  I missed out on in the 80’s and 90’s. Thank you for driving up to 8 hours in a weekend just so I could spend one night with you in Brooklyn.  And, most importantly, thank you for being an amazing father.